I have a little brother named Filip; he is almost two years old. He can walk really well but like any kid he falls, trips, and he sometimes injures himself. It is never been anything serious but he loves to be comforted after he gets hurt. The other day I realized that my comfort phrase to him is “you’re okay.”
I don’t freak out every time he gets hurt because I know that his injury is minor and he’s more upset about falling then landing. I used to believe that if I act like he is okay than he is going to think that he is okay. However, this dismissal is actually really bad. I mean sure he is going to be fine, he just fell on his butt and he has a dipper on so the ground didn’t really hurt very much.
Although his hurt is temporary, showing concern is nicer. So what I should start saying instead is, “what happened?” It is a lot more sympathetic and it takes his focus from his hurt to why he is hurt. Distracting him from his feelings, with things like ice cream or candy is another horrible idea that I often see people use to deal with the crying. This is because the child is not allowed to deal with what happened in a effective way.
My brother cannot talk that well yet but he understands a lot, and just because he doesn’t talk to me yet doesn’t mean I should not talk to him. Talking to him about what happened is the best way to help him. Saying something like, “Did you trip on this teddy bear? It looks like someone left it on the ground.”